Crash
by CrazyKidBen
Summary: As Xander and Anya prepare for their big day, a surprise guest appears. FYI: I wrote this before I saw Hell's Bells. COMPLETE! (I think) REVIEW!
1. One

Title: Crash  
  
Author: CrazyKidBen  
  
Summary: As Xander and Anya discuss "The Big Day," a surprise visitor appears. That's not even mentioning what forces Buffy and Spike into close quarters so soon after "The Conversation."  
  
Spoilers/Continuity: This story begins the same day as the ending of "As You Were." Lost? Okay, well, "As You Were" ending in the morning, Buffy stepping out into a brand new day. This story takes place hours later, after the sun has gone down. Better now? Good! Many spoilers for anyone that has yet to watch "As You Were" or "Older and Far Away." References to Kendra, Halfrek, and the counselor from "Beauty and the Beasts." Mention of Angel, Oz, and Giles leaving. Anything involving surprise guest stays loyal to continuity, but will include spoilers to anyone not up to date on season four Buffy and season one/two Angel. FYI: I SWEAR I WROTE THIS BEFORE I SAW "Hell's Bells"!!  
  
Disclaimer: Here we are, back to that wonderful part of the opener where I tell you that I own none of these characters and write these fics for the sheer enjoyment it brings me. Besides, what else am I going to do with the time between episodes? Everything contained below is copyright Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and Twentieth Century Fox, as well as all those people whose weekly salaries I couldn't hope to make in a year... I apologize as I just realized how long this opener is... Here's what you've all been waiting for! See if you can figure out who/what Crash is!  
  
"Crash"  
  
"I mean it, Dawn, counseling isn't a horrible idea, it could help me help you," Buffy said, standing in the kitchen with her sister.  
  
"Buffy, the last counselor I went to trapped us in the house..."  
  
"Well, they don't all do that... I went to a really nice one in high school."  
  
"Okay, then take me to him."  
  
"I can't... he was kind of killed..."  
  
"Oh, see? It isn't safe for me to go to a counselor, so I'll just see you when you get back from patrolling?"  
  
"Nice way to change the subject, Dawn. Don't stay up, it's going to be a long night. I think I found a new nest," Buffy said, putting on her coat.  
  
"Okay, but don't forget to go by that all-night grocery store on the way home, we're out of everything, even baking soda."  
  
"I know, Dawn. See?" Buffy said, producing a slip of paper, "I've got the list and everything. Now, finish your homework and go to bed," Buffy said, heading out the door.  
  
* * *  
  
"Xander, I don't understand," Anya said, lying next to him on the bed, looking up at the ceiling.  
  
"I just said I'm a little nervous, that I've got cold feet, that's all."  
  
"But, my feet are all snuggled next to yours, they're quite warm, actually. And besides, you can't get nervous, the house is full of guests and I picked out the most beautiful dress, and there's going to be one of those neat fruit punch fountains and, most importantly, no bunnies! So, you see? Perfect," Anya said, smiling at the thought of her special day. Then, her tone changing slightly, more serious, "Besides, if you pull a runaway groom, I'll hunt you down and drag you back."  
  
"Heh heh, as long as you don't kill me," Xander replied, trying to keep the subject light.  
  
"No, that comes if you won't go back."  
  
Xander's eyes widened, then, trying to come up with a lighter topic of conversation, he asked, "Do you think we'll get any surprise guests?"  
  
"I don't know, we sent invitations to everyone. We sent that special card to Giles, we sent one to Angel Investigations, and we even emailed one to Oz, because who really knows where he is exactly? Who knows who will show up."  
  
"Yeah, I guess you're right. I don't see why anyone would want to come back here."  
  
* * *  
  
The bus stopped and the brunette stepped off, carrying no suitcases, she grinned as she saw the familiar city, then glanced around, "I'm crushed, no welcoming committee?"  
  
* * *  
  
Buffy roamed through one of the many cemeteries in Sunnydale, following the suspicious looking pale guy she thought might lead her to the nest. His clothes were dated, as well as his mullet, and, besides, her Slayer-sense was all tingly. He turned around the corner of a mausoleum, possibly the Von Altom one, and she sped up to make sure she didn't lose him.  
  
Turning the corner, she saw him drop down into the sewer through a manhole. Slowly withdrawing Mr. Pointy from her coat sleeve, Buffy clutched the stake trustingly, it hadn't failed her yet. She stealthily approached the hole, peering into the darkness, waiting for her eyes to adjust. Just when she thought she could make out a side tunnel all the way at the bottom, she felt footsteps behind her. Spinning around, she held Mr. Pointy up, ready to strike.  
  
"Hey! Watch where you point that bloody thing!"  
  
"Spike... how nice it isn't to see you."  
  
"Now, don't be like that. I'm just here to slay the evil and save the day, just like you."  
  
"You are the evil and, last I checked, you can't save the day, only lurk at night. You aren't like me, Spike, I thought I made that clear."  
  
"You did... crystal bloody clear, even. I'm trying to move on from that, but remember this?" he asked, tapping his forehead, "I've still got this bleating chip so what else am I gonna do to get my rocks off?"  
  
"Spike!" Buffy said, disgusted.  
  
"I mean, killing bloody demons, not shagging you!"  
  
"Oh, well, then... good."  
  
"So, something down there? Conducting things of evil? Just being naughty?"  
  
"Maybe. I guess you can come with me," Buffy said, disappearing into the blackness.  
  
Spike jumped in after her, landing next to her, "Who said I have to ask for permission?"  
  
* * *  
  
"What's this?" Faith asked, peering through the small window next to the door of Giles' old apartment, "Giles finally realized there was no point to him being here? Good call on his part, maybe he'll make some real, grown- up, friends. Where to next? Oh, yes, that'll work..."  
  
* * *  
  
"I'm just saying that when you run into her, you may want to have some idea of what you want to say."  
  
"You do realize Buffy will kill me for letting you stay up, especially if it's just to talk?" Willow asked, sitting on the couch facing Dawn, both of them in pajamas.  
  
"She won't know, because she doesn't get home until like five in the morning... Besides, we'll hear her coming in the back door if she's early, and I can run up the stairs."  
  
"I guess... I just don't want Buffy mad at me."  
  
"Who would? I mean, a mad Slayer? That's just scary, Willow..."  
  
* * *  
  
"Where's the witch!?" Faith shouted, scaring the current occupant of Willow's old dorm room. The guy only pointed down the hall, eyes wide.  
  
"Whatever. I hate being out of the loop..."  
  
* * *  
  
"...I mean, one minute you've got my motor all revved, playing along, and the next thing I know, my bloody engine's dead!"  
  
"That's why I cut it off, Spike, I was using you. It was wrong for me to--"  
  
"...To wha--?"  
  
"Spike, shut up, there's something down here," Buffy said, as shapes began falling from the pipes all around them, "Great..."  
  
* * *  
  
"Tara, how have you been?" Willow asked, nervously, "Well, that was an incredibly stupid thing to say... even for me. Done any good spells lately? No, I just topped the previous incredibly stupid line..." Willow moaned, falling back on the couch.  
  
"See? You're worrying about it too much. Just talk to her when you see her. Don't rehearse it. It will work better that way, I promise," Dawn said, happy that she wasn't reading Grapes of Wraith at the moment.  
  
"I guess... I mean, as long as I don't say, 'Hey, do you hate me?' everything should be fine, right?" Willow said as she heard a knock on the front door, "Hmm... guess Buffy forgot her keys."  
  
Dawn quickly ran up the stairs, making sure to not look out the window, avoiding eye contact might mean Buffy didn't even notice she was out of bed.  
  
Willow headed over to the door, opening it without checking, knowing vampires couldn't just roam into the house, "Buffy, I thought you took your keys with--"  
  
"Hey, Red, how've you been?" Faith asked, stepping inside.  
  
"--you," Willow finished, in total and complete shock.  
  
"So, I've been thinking... something's got to be going on in Sunnydale. It's the place where all the cool demons go, right? And besides, what kind of fun was I going to have all cooped up in that prison cell? Not much. But here, in the 'dale, I'm just chilling, adjusting to the changes. Sort of like how I adjusted after the coma... I thought prison would give me time to move on. Too bad, Will, it just gave things time to fester," Faith said, standing right in front of Willow.  
  
"What's wrong with you? Angel said you'd reformed..." Willow said, taking a step back.  
  
"Angel hasn't been by to see me for a while... it just made it easier when he stopped coming around, meant I didn't have to fake that I was improving... But I'm not the one you should worry about, Will," Faith said, punching Willow across the cheek, sending her to the floor, "I'm five by five... which is more than I can say for you."  
  
* * * 


	2. Two

Title: Crash  
  
Author: CrazyKidBen  
  
Summary: This second chapter picks up exactly where first chapter left off. Faith has just nailed Willow over the face and Buffy and Spike are in the sewer. Xander and Anya are at their apartment in their bedroom and Dawn is upstairs, thinking Buffy just got home from patrolling when it is actually Faith. I think that pretty much sums up everything so far.  
  
Disclaimer: Here we are, back to that wonderful part of the opener where I tell you that I own none of these characters and write these fics for the sheer enjoyment it brings me. Besides, what else am I going to do with the time between episodes? Everything contained below is copyright Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and Twentieth Century Fox, as well as all those people whose weekly salaries I couldn't hope to make in a year... Grapes of Wrath was written by John Steinbeck and I have read it and enjoyed it for the most part, but most don't. Besides, how often do we actually see Dawn doing schoolwork?  
  
"Buffy, you don't have to make up stories about things being down here, all you had to say was that you didn't want me following you and I would have-- well, I would have still followed you down here, but at least then I would have--"  
  
"Spike, shut up! There is something down here... I think there may be plural things, even. Did you bring any weapons?" she asked, holding Mr. Pointy tightly in her hand.  
  
"I've got a stake in here somewhere..." he said, rummaging through his leather duster.  
  
"Well, get it, we're going to need weapons, from the sound of things, this is a bigger nest than I thought," Buffy said, standing completely still, letting her Slayer-sense pick up how many vamps were surrounding them.  
  
"Well, we can handle anything. Right, Slayer?" Spike said, finding a stake in one of the many pockets that lined the duster.  
  
"Just shut up and get ready," was Buffy's only response to him. To herself, however, she thought, 'Right, of course I'd get stuck in a sewer with Spike, the one person I didn't want to see right now.'  
  
* * *  
  
"I'm sleeping on the couch!" Anya said, jumping out of the bed, grabbing her robe, heading for the door.  
  
"An, you can't! What did I do?" Xander said, jumping up out of the bed.  
  
"Well, while you were snoring over there, I realized that after a couple has an argument, one of them should go sleep on the couch. And since you were sleeping over there, I thought I should go do that," she said, looking very stern.  
  
"Sweetie, we didn't argue. You said some things, and I said some things, and then we went to sleep. At least, I had gone to sleep. Besides, there's no way you can sleep on the couch," he said, putting his hand on her arm.  
  
"Good point," she said, pulling away, "You should sleep on the couch!" she said, hopping back into the bed.  
  
"Anya, Uncle Rory is on the couch, there's no way either one of us can sleep on it," he said, returning to the bed.  
  
"Well, that sounds like a good excuse, but I still think we had an argument tonight," she said, rolling over away from Xander.  
  
"How can I convince you we didn't?" Xander asked.  
  
"I don't know, we've never argued in the middle of the night before," she said.  
  
"And we still haven't. I'm telling you, An, I've heard my parents many times, and what we just had was not an argument," he said, putting an arm over her.  
  
"Well, fine. I guess that works," she said.  
  
"My reasoning or cuddling?" he asked, confused a little.  
  
"Both."  
  
* * *  
  
The vampires had begun coming out of the darker shadows of the sewer and now stood in the lighter shadows, so that Buffy and Spike could now see exactly how many there were.  
  
"Fifteen," Buffy said, holding Mr. Pointy up, ready to slam him into the heart of whichever one attacked her first.  
  
"Well, Slayer, I like these odds," said Spike, diving into three vamps that were standing close to one another.  
  
One of the vamps lunged towards Buffy and she dusted him like a pro, Mr. Pointy making contact with his heart deep in his chest. Spike finished off the three vamps quickly, using his one stake repeatedly to get the job done. All the same, there were still eleven more vamps getting closer to them.  
  
"I just love my life," Buffy sighed, waiting for the next one to strike.  
  
* * *  
  
"Dawn, it's not that bad," Janice said, lying on her bed upside down, her hair dangling over the side, holding the cordless phone up to her ear.  
  
"It is. This book makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. I mean, sure, there's this family and they are travelling to California for work, but I really don't care," Dawn said into the phone, lying on her stomach as she flipped through the pages.  
  
"I guess you have a point, I just got into the swing of things and finished it."  
  
"It's like two-thousand pages long!" Dawn said, unable to believe Janice had completed the book in two nights, "How are you done?"  
  
"I borrowed a friend's notes and didn't read it..."  
  
"Well, what's the friend's name? I probably know them, right?"  
  
"Well... His name's Cliff," Janice said, flipping her hair.  
  
"Cliff? We don't know a-- You used Cliff Notes? I swear, you are such a cheater!"  
  
"And aren't you being illegal right now?" Janice asked.  
  
Dawn looked over at her jewelry box, "What do you mean by that...?"  
  
"Doesn't Buffy think that you're in bed right now? It's like three in the morning."  
  
"Oh, she probably won't even notice," Dawn said, relieved Janice was talking about bedtimes and not shoplifting.  
  
* * *  
  
"I've noticed a lot of things are different... Here I was thinking that I was going to come back and things wouldn't be that different here, especially since I was the life of this party called life. And here I am, checking things out. For one, your old dorm room isn't yours anymore, some guy's living there. Giles is gone, and I don't get that yet. Besides, where's Joyce?" Faith said, squatting in front of Willow, who was sitting on the couch, "And that gag is probably why you've been so quiet. Let me help you with that."  
  
Faith loosened the white cloth from Willow's face just enough so that it hung just below her mouth. Willow's eyes narrowed as she spoke, "You don't deserve to know anything."  
  
"That so? Here I thought you'd be happier to see me. Or, at least, your girlfriend would be here so I could mess with you both. That would've been fun."  
  
Willow didn't respond, only continued to staring.  
  
"And, while I'm at it, I see you are just sitting there, not doing a thing. Why is that? Shouldn't you have bibbidy boppity boo'd me by now?"  
  
"I decided to stop using magick."  
  
"I go into a coma and you're straight, I wake up and you're gay, using more magick. I leave town and you are a major witch, I come back and you are clean. If I come back in a couple years are you gonna be like a nun or something, Red?"  
  
"It depends on the circumstances... would Sister Willow not have to put up with you any more?" Willow asked, looking Faith in the eyes.  
  
"That cuts me to the quick, Will. I thought we were having a conversation. I thought that maybe you would be able to fill me in on all things concerning the little Scoobies. So," Faith said, pulling Willow's hair, "Talk."  
  
* * *  
  
A vampire approached Buffy and Spike staked her. Buffy looked at Spike with anger in here eyes, "Why did you do that?"  
  
"Thought I'd help, that's all," Spike replied, staking a vampire that was coming up behind him.  
  
"I don't need your help killing things that are two inches away from my stake," Buffy said, kicking a vampire back and then impaling him on Mr. Pointy.  
  
"Well, sorry about that, then. No, actually, I'm not sorry, I just did it to piss you off," Spike said, smirking as he grabbed a vampire from behind and staked him through the back, the dust falling onto him. He shook it off and moved on to the next.  
  
"I thought I made it clear time and again that this morning was the end, Spike. I can't see you any more, it wouldn't be good for either of us!" Buffy said, landing a blow across a vamp's face as she dusted another.  
  
"I've already said that you did make it clear as blood crystal, but we still have to work together, Buffy. You still need my help when it comes to things like this," he said, taking out another creature of the night.  
  
"I don't, Spike, I really don't," Buffy said, staking the last vampire and heading for the ladder.  
  
"Well, we have to share the cemeteries, we can split them or something," Spike said, putting his stake back in one of the pockets.  
  
"Patrol wherever you want, just don't get in my way," Buffy said, climbing the ladder and leaving the manhole lid off so that Spike could climb out as well.  
  
"Well, the least you could do is apologize for blowing up my crypt with soldier boy. Instead, you just up and left me in the ruins of it. It's not like I'm insured or anything, it'll take me a few days before I even find another crypt to stay in while I fix up the old one!" Spike said, pulling himself out to find that Buffy was long gone, "Bloody hell..."  
  
* * *  
  
"So... let me get this straight... The lover left you because you were using too much magick and then you stopped using magick but she's still not with you? That sucks. And Joyce died of a brain aneurysm last year? That sucks. Riley left Buffy and showed up married, then bailed again? I ought to kill him for that myself... Anything else I need caught up on?" Faith asked the bound Willow, sitting next to her on the couch.  
  
"Xander and Anya are getting married in a few days," Willow said.  
  
"Xander!? Lame boy Xander is getting married? Who's the girl, some loser chick who couldn't get a real man?" Faith asked in total shock. If Willow wasn't mistaken, there was a twinge of jealousy in Faith's voice.  
  
"No, she's nice... a little on the annoying side, at times. She's kind of like Cordelia," Willow said. Then, realizing Faith had insulted Xander, "And Xander is a real man!"  
  
"Whatever, you'd think he would have learned his lesson from Cordelia. Wait, that wasn't his fault, you did that."  
  
"Well, I'm gay now, so I don't think that can be held against me, especially from a psycho like you," Willow said, hoping Buffy would be back soon to figure this all out.  
  
"I actually take that as a compliment," Faith said, leaning back on the couch.  
  
"Proving the statement correct." Willow said, unable to move more than an inch or so.  
  
"I just wish Buffy would get home, can't wait to see the look on her face," Faith said, closing her eyes as she smiled widely at the thought of fighting with another Slayer again. It was a rush just to face someone that was equal in strength. Of course, Faith had been working out the entire time she was in prison, waiting for the perfect moment.  
  
There was a hand of Faith's shoulder and her eyes opened, turning to see Buffy standing over her, "Be careful what you wish for..." 


	3. Three

Title: Crash  
  
Author: CrazyKidBen  
  
Summary: Same as the second, this chapter picks up after the one before it, this time being chapter two. Buffy just got home to find Faith on her couch with a bound Willow. That's all that really matters, right?  
  
Disclaimer: Here we are, back to that wonderful part of the opener where I tell you that I own none of these characters and write these fics for the sheer enjoyment it brings me. Besides, what else am I going to do with the time between episodes? Everything contained below is copyright Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and Twentieth Century Fox, as well as all those people whose weekly salaries I couldn't hope to make in a year...  
  
Buffy grabbed Faith and yanked her off the couch by her leather jacket, "You might get more than you bargained for."  
  
"B, so glad you could make it. The party already started, but I'm sure I can make it up to you," Faith said, swinging at Buffy, connecting only with a block on Buffy's part.  
  
"This is interesting..." Buffy said, blocking Faith blow for blow, "Here I thought you'd learned your lesson the last time you tried to kill me. Whatever happened to the justice system actually working?" Buffy asked, doing a backflip that resulted in Faith receiving a boot in the chin.  
  
"Oh, it was, until I realized that was exactly what your little loser squad wanted me to do. Faith should be more like Buffy, yadda yadda yadda I've heard all this before! I'm me and that's never going to change!" Faith said, clasping her fists together to slam them against Buffy's cheek.  
  
"You can paint a cow pie any color but when you're done it still stinks," Buffy said, ducking as Faith connected with a vase of flowers on the small wooden bookcase.  
  
"That's cute, Xander say that?" Faith said, swinging again, this time nailing the wall.  
  
"What?" Buffy said, uppercutting into Faith's jaw, "Like I can't say something witty every once in a while?"  
  
"Well, how about this? Your new haircut? Sucks."  
  
"Okay, now I'm madder than I thought humanly possible," Buffy said, grabbing Faith's arms and swinging her around to crash through the recently purchased coffee table. The last one was ruined when the M'Fashnik demon attacked.  
  
"Buffy, we just bought that!" Willow moaned from the couch, still unable to move.  
  
"Well, what am I supposed to throw her into?" Buffy asked as Faith jumped up with a roundhouse kick.  
  
"I could throw my fist down your throat!" Faith said, "This totally blows, B! I'm not even sure if you're trying."  
  
"Oh, I don't want to waste actual energy on you... F," Buffy said, realizing it had been years since she'd called Faith that.  
  
"Well, whatever's going down here that's got you so preoccupied needs to be dealt with. You can't be an effective Slayer if something's got your thong in a twist."  
  
"Faith, I don't--"  
  
"Personally speaking, B, chill," Faith replied. Willow's face responded in such a way that if it stuck that way she'd have trouble getting a date with a Chaos demon.  
  
"I almost feel bad for you... I mean, something's got your attention and it's not what you're supposed to be doing. I don't think even I could prey upon someone so... well, distracted."  
  
"What are you saying?" Buffy asked, squinting her eyes as Faith walked over to the front door.  
  
"I'm saying that I'll give you a raincheck. I'll be back when you can give me a fair fight," Faith said as she opened the door and stepped out onto the porch.  
  
"That was a fair fight," Buffy said, chasing her.  
  
"Please, B, you're off your game. Something's missing and you better figure out what it is soon before it kills you," Faith said, walking down the sidewalk.  
  
"Like that hasn't happened before..." Buffy muttered.  
  
"That was years ago, B. They called Kendra to take over. When she checked out, they got me," Faith said, twirling to face Buffy.  
  
"That was also last year, but you wouldn't know about that, being in jail and all."  
  
"I just keep learning new things, don't I? Well, why didn't the Council get me out to fight after you died? I haven't ruffed up anyone but Red here, meaning they still think I'm in jail and all new and improved."  
  
"The gang didn't tell them I died, so they didn't know," Buffy said, arms crossed.  
  
"That's wicked smart, good to know they were able to keep it going without you... How'd you get back?"  
  
"They brought me back."  
  
"Good to know. But here's the thing you don't understand. If you die and they do find out, they won't need you anymore. I'm the active Slayer, B, and I'm totally sane now, remember?" Faith said as a twisted smile crossed her face. She snickered a little, then continued, "If you bite it again, I'm the one left to save your buddies... maybe that'll motivate you to fix your life so that the next time I come back, we can fight fair and square."  
  
"You're sick, Faith," Buffy said.  
  
"Don't I know it? But, shh..." Faith said, putting a finger to her lips, "As of now, it's our little secret."  
  
"How'd you get out, anyway?" Buffy asked, "Start a fire in the trash, steal a guard's uniform and sneak out in the laundry truck?"  
  
"Something like that... If I told you, I'd have to kill you. I'll be heading back now."  
  
"Wait, are you saying you are actually breaking back into jail?" Buffy asked, eyes wide.  
  
"Have to maintain that good girl 'tude for the Council..." Faith said as she headed down the sidewalk.  
  
Buffy went back inside, closing the door behind her and shaking her head, "I'll never understand that girl..."  
  
"Umm... Buffy, can you untie me now?" Willow asked, holding up her wrapped hands.  
  
"Sorry, Will..." Buffy said, pulling and untying the rope.  
  
"Do you think she'll break back in the same way she got out?" Willow asked.  
  
"Hard to say... it is Faith, after all," Buffy said, sighing loudly.  
  
~~Fini 


End file.
